Friday, September 13, 2019

Sayang, Happy 7th Anniversary!

9th September 2019

As you can see, i have this one hypothesis;
Semakin lama umur perkahwinan, semakin lambat buat blogpost anniversary.
Hahahaha.

But nevermind. Better late than never.
Sebab i dah janji to my self yang i have to do this annual blogpost everytime anniversary sebab inilah satu-satunya cara for me untuk terus ingat our love stories or whatever marriage conflicts supaya bila one of us semakin menjauh dari rasa cinta, hoping that this could help us to make our love blooming once again. Which i pray that it will never happen but who knows.
At least bila tua and baca balik semua ni, it could remind us the struggling to be where we are on that time.


Every year, i never failed to pray that Allah will give us more rezeki in the next next year so that this year will always be our last tough year.
But i perasan, i still rasa every year is tough for us like Allah belum makbulkan lagi doa kami untuk lebih senang buat kami anak beranak.
Tapi sebenarnya Allah dah bagi apa yang kami perlukan cuma i sendiri yang selalu compare our life with others which made me think why we still not kaya like our relatives and friends.
Thus i always think rezeki is money and being rich.

And this thing yang selalu buat kita bergaduh like hell.

You guys know what, last year i got called from the hospital sebab katanya i ada symptom-symptom of depression.
(sebab months before tu i ada jawab questionnaire given by the doc)
To be frank, on 2018 tapi i tak ingat bila,
depan anak-anak semua i pegang pisau dekat leher and jerit bagitau husband yang i nak bunuh diri.
Ok. I tiba-tiba rasa sedih to tell others bout this sebab i tak suka sebenarnya to tell the bitter side of ours tapi that's actually happened to me.

Tapi waktu dpt phone call from the doc tu, i tak rasa pun nak follow up sebab i rasa i mengada-ngada gila kalau i pergi since my husband is really a good listener and a great support system for me.
Cumanya i just can't control my anger and emotions. I cepat meltdown bila things happened not as my planned.
Depression is real but it depends on you guys how to deal with it.

But don't worry, i am good now. I'm normal.

Cumanya nak bagitahu yang every thing happens in your marriage, communication is the only key.
Talk to your spouse.
Even menjerit sekali pun. Let it out.
At least tak terpendam.
Then have a good discussion so that both parties can reflect to what had happened.
And fix it!!!

But the utmost thing is, be grateful.
Marriage is not always a fairy tale.

So for this year,
I pray that Allah will always give us more love.
I pray that Allah will broaden our shoulder to bear all the tests.
I pray that Allah will tighten our hands to go through the hardship together.

So that we could be the best for each other.
So that we can be grateful for what we have.
So that we will strive together to fulfill our kids' wishes.

Oh yaa, i also need help from you guys,
Please please please....pray for my husband to finish his masters this year.
I really need that. Hahaha
Mana tahu, one of your prayers will be answered by Allah.

I will pray all the good things to surround my readers.
Aamiinn aamiinn ya mujib.




Sayang,
Happy 7th anniversary.
Awak memang yang terbaik untuk saya. And no one will always be like you.
You clean up the house,
You cook for us,
You find money for us,
You always make us laugh,
You always there for us,
And i know, you are trying to give the best for us.
That's why you're taking your masters just to raise up our living standards.
But please, we've been waited till 3 years.
Finish it soon sayang.
Hahaha.
We love you ayah.


Related links: Sayang, Happy 6th Anniversary! Sayang, Happy 5th Anniversary! Sayang, Happy 4th Anniversary! Sayang, Happy 3rd Anniversary! Sayang, Happy 2nd Anniversary! Sayang, Happy 1st Anniversary!




Thursday, September 13, 2018

Sayang, Happy 6th Anniversary!

6 years
You know what, i've been 4 days late to post this entry sebab busy sangat kemas rumah nak pindah ni. See, kami masih belum lagi menempuh saat-saat kaya bersama. Kah.
Bila lah episod nomad ni nak berakhir. 

On 9th September haritu, kami takde buat apa-apa celebration pun. Just a simple wish je dalam kereta. Haha. 
Oh, thank you to husband for the appreciation insta-post he did. I'm so touched. Auwhhh~
Jarang taw dia nak post pasal bini dia. Hahaha.  

Anyways, lately ni, kami dikelilingi dengan kes-kes failure in marriage. Mostly sebab suami ada perempuan lain. And kebanyakannya memang sedang dalam proses untuk bercerai. 
So, i feel so grateful that Allah still gives me and husband a marriage full with honesty and loyalty with three healthy kids. Alhamdulillah
Maybe this is the crucial phase in marriage life. And we managed to pass through it tho our daily life are full with fights but at the end of the day, love is beyond all of it.

Oklah. Just leave the negativity aside. It's our anniversary and i just wanna remember our happiness together. 
Oh and one of it yang i jarang cerita is our engagement. Cause it took us only three months from the day we first met. Gatal tak? Haha. 
Actually Badi nak secure i awal-awal letteww. Hahaha. 

Time tu takde siapa pun yang tahu i akan bertunang and i dont know why i taknak bagitahu kawan-kawan pun. Hahaha
The first one to know was Dila. 
Dia yang temankan i beli hantaran bertunang waktu tu.





One week before the engagement day tu baru i bagitahu Annur, Kak Anim, Ewa, Nabil Lin, Paktam and Aman. 






Konon-konon my dream engagement day is just humble and simple. Tapi sampai sekarang i menyesal tak sudah sebab simple ya robbi i buat. Hahaha. 
Rasa macam nak bertunang lagi sekali. Ehh. Hahahahaha. 

I pakai baju kurung biasa tapi jenis lace yang paaaaalingggg biasa. 
Veil apa semua takde. So, i pakai tudung yang ada flower embroidery atas kepala ala-ala macam crown lah thus it was a trend at that time.
Make-up pun sumpah lah simple pakai apa yang ada je. Itu pun ewa yang make-up kan style nak pergi keluar jalan-jalan je. Haha. 




Lepastu semua hantaran i cakap i nak buat sendiri. Takde siapa boleh kacau sebab i taknak ada bunga-bunga ke hape benda.
Cuma ibu je lah degil dia nak jahitkan bedsheet baru and beli carpet baru untuk dalam bilik i. Other than that memang i kata buat macam orang nak datang rumah macam biasa je.
Photographer pun jangan cerita lah kan. Nama pun simple. Gambar pun mana dan je yang ada. Sedih! 

Dalam fikiran i waktu tu, i takut nak buat grand-grand sebab malu. 
Buttttt the utmost reason is........i dapat tahu family bakal mertua jenis yang that kind of islamic and i pulak jenis free hair jahil tak sampai hidayah lagi. So, i takut sangat nak buat beria pelamin bagai sebab takut nanti family bakal mertua kata apa. 
Hahaha. Sumpah lah i memang fikir sampai macam tu sekali ok.

Tapi memang hari nak bertunang tu memang itu first time i jumpa Umi and Ayah. 
Dia punya takut tu memang menggigil gila bila tahu diorang dah sampai depan rumah. 
I pulak duduk rumah setinggan time tu dekat Padang Jawa, tapi rombongan yang datang waktu tu semua pakai kereta mahal-mahal. 
Can u imagine, rasa macam aduh lah....malunya lah rumah kita ni dah lah kecik panas pulak tu. 
Haha. 


Muka bakal imam i yang masih kurus lagi. Hahaha





I dalam bilik masa tu membayangkan, ok nanti time moment nak sarung cincin tu mesti Umi je yang masuk dalam bilik kan. 
So takdelah malu sangat. 
Eh tiba-tiba Maklong yang masuk bilik sebab nak panggil i keluar. Katanya family bakal mertua nak kenal so kena salam-salam semua. 
Oh my god. Can u imagine, kita ni dah prepare macam lain, tiba-tiba jadi lain. Memang goosebump tu jangan cerita lah kan. 
I boleh pulak buat drama 10 minit dengan Maklong taknak keluar bilik. 
Yang i ingat i cakap, "Eh taknak lah keluar. Bukan mak dia ke yang masuk bilik? Taknak lah maklong. Maluuuu"
And the scene tarik-tarik tangan berlangsung selama 10 minit. 
I pun tak tahu apa yg i fikir sampai degil taknak keluar bilik. hahaha. 

Waktu dekat ruang tamu tu, memang gigil lah tangan i pegang tangan ibu. 
Rasa takde apa pun yang masuk dalam kepala time tu sebab terlalu cuak.
Lagi lah time kena salam-salam dengan saudara-saudara belah Badi tu. I bet diorang mesti rasa tangan i sejuk macam mayat. 





Nevertheless, everything went smoothly. 
Kalau tak smoothly, takkanlah sampai tiga orang anak la ni kan. Hahaha





But trust me, i punya moment nak bertunang tu lagi penuh debaran dari time nak akad nikah. Sebab kitorang kan memang tak bercinta pun before tu. Jumpa pun sekali dua. 
So rasa macam 'eh betul ke keputusan i buat nak bertunang dengan lelaki entah siapa ni'
But alhamdulillah, lelaki entah siapa ni lah yang paling terbaik untuk i. 

He will never say no to our requests. 
He will tries to fulfill all of it. 
He is the one who knows me better. 
So i will give all i can as return. 
Because, all of me loves all of you,
Love your curves and all your edges,
All your perfect imperfection. 
(eh lirik lagu pulak 😜 kita reply balik lirik lagu yang dia bagi)

To many more fights that make us love each other, 
and to many more love that make us strong together,
Till our 7th and countless number of anniversary,


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